What is Fragments?

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Neuro
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Post by Neuro » Fri Sep 17, 2004 12:53 pm

Fragments is a serial. I'm not going to attach it to a genre or tell you much about the story itself. Providing I can keep it up, it should evolve over time, piece by piece, fragment by fragment.

You're always welcome to provide feedback, criticism, commentary, speculation, whatever you like.

Mostly I hope at least some of you enjoy it.
"I need no mask to speak with you. Unlike my brother. I create my own personality. Personality is my medium."

--Neuromancer, William Gibson

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Skyman
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Post by Skyman » Fri Sep 17, 2004 1:08 pm

When the scene opens up with a body bag being zipped up you just know it's gonna be good
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devlin1
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Post by devlin1 » Fri Sep 17, 2004 5:56 pm

Out of curiosity, why did you choose present tense?
Mike Olson
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Neuro
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Post by Neuro » Fri Sep 17, 2004 9:48 pm

Why did I choose present tense?

Thank you, that was incredibly observant. You'll notice that there's one (deliberate) tense error in the writing so far. If there was more than one, we may pray my editor catches it. She's volunteered and I have it in writing you see ;> (We were emailing earlier, she'll read this sooner or later.)

We'll come back to that point a little bit later, when the tense will become appropriate again. I hope. If it works right. The tense should always reflect the space in the timeline, if that makes any sense in the world at all. With any luck, it won't be desperately corny when I'm done.
"I need no mask to speak with you. Unlike my brother. I create my own personality. Personality is my medium."

--Neuromancer, William Gibson

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Skyman
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Post by Skyman » Fri Sep 17, 2004 11:37 pm

The second post is really cool. Descriptions had more pace. I'm intrigued to find out more about the lady. The first post guy on the table sounded like Wolverine with the claws and all.
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devlin1
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Post by devlin1 » Sun Sep 19, 2004 3:11 pm


[quote="Neuro"]Why did I choose present tense?



Thank you, that was incredibly observant. [/quote]

Okay, I'm going to assume you're fucking with me there since it really wasn't that observant at all, but seriously, I really was curious about why you made that choice. Hope I didn't offend.

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‎"In this economy, it's not easy to feed a growing family. So we eat Haunkkah gelt for dinner and look at a picture of broccoli." --Paul F. Tompkins
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Roll Some Dice: Another blog.

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Neuro
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Post by Neuro » Sun Sep 19, 2004 4:11 pm

No, it was that observant, I'm afraid. Actually, I was delighted to hear it mentioned just that moment because I'd done something kind of stupid, like, not tell the person editing the thing that tense is really effing important and that the first few lines have to stay in the past tense. I've gotten a lot of blank stares, besides, so comparatively, I hate to be the one to break it to you, it was observant. I mean, I did something on purpose and somebody noticed. I was happy.

I knew this all related to a thwarted urge from role playing games, somehow. You know how you design a game and then nobody notices the cool little stuff you put in there? Right. That's it. That's why I'm so happy about this tense thing.

So, at any rate, I edited this post after writing it the first time to be a little more clear about not, in fact, being sarcastic. But also to say that the first three fragments posts have been edited. Not much for content, but for consistency. I now have a style sheet. I haven't seen the style sheet yet, in fact, but I think I got the point in the colossal amount of little red, mauve, and blue lines I've had to go through and accept, one at a time. I've never evaluated the existence of so many commas so seriously in my life.

In fact, I think being sarcastic about noticing something like tense in writing would be really crappy of me, because right about now I'm feeling awfully grateful to the woman who spent what must have been a fairly significant portion of her day evaluating the smallest things in my writing and answering questions like, "Why did you change that word? It's in dialogue. People don't always say polished things."

Answer? "Because for and before in the same sentence really irked me."

Editing is nothing if not a keen eye and an absolute patience for the smallest detail.
"I need no mask to speak with you. Unlike my brother. I create my own personality. Personality is my medium."

--Neuromancer, William Gibson

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