Happy Weathertop Stabbing Day!

[devlin1]

Hey, a big shout out to the Witch King of Angmar on this, the anniversary of him stabbing Frodo at Weathertop. Keep it real, brother!

[Skyman]

Wooo Hooo! Happy Day indeed. Keep it real and the pimp-witch hand strong

[devlin1]

Can't believe I didn't post this last year, but here's wishing everyone a happy Weathertop Stabbing Day. It's a time for family, so go home, gather the kids 'round the piano, and sing some Weathertop Stabbing Day carols.

Just think, it's only a week until Nazgul Drowned in Ford of Bruinen Day!

[jimmy corrigan]

pfft. another manufactured holiday indoctrinated by an artificial america of the 50s, and shoved down the consumer's throat from that multinational profiteering feel-goodery, hallmark.

[devlin1]

Whew! Has it been a year already? Here's wishing a very merry Weathertop Stabbing Day to everyone.

And remember -- only six shopping days left until Glorfindel Drowns The Nazgul Day!

[jimmy corrigan]

shit. i totally forgot to buy my wife a weathertop stabbing day gift. in the doghouse again.

[mordraine]

I always do my Weathertop Stabbing Day gift shopping months in advance. That way I miss the last minute shopping crowds at the mall.

I don't celebrate Glorfindel Drowns The Nazgul Day, however. We all know this particular holiday was just made up by Hallmark to sell more greeting cards. Disgusting display of crass commercialism really.

[devlin1]

It's that special time of year again! Gather 'round the Morgul knife and sing the traditional Nazgul ballads, because it's Weathertop Stabbing Day!

Here's one of my favorites -- "Morgul Knife"!

Morgul Knife, Morgul Knife,
Knife knife knife knife knife!
Knife knife knife knife knife knife knife
Morgul knife knife knife knife knife!
HEY!

Morgul Knife, Morgul Knife,
Knife knife knife knife knife!
Knife knife knife knife knife knife knife
Morgul knife knife knife knife knife!

[devlin1]

It's that special day again, everyone! It only comes but once a year -- Weathertop Stabbing Day!

Again I ask you, as I did one year ago today, what are you favorite Weathertop Stabbing Day songs?

How about this one?

I'm dreaming of a Morgul Knife,
Just like the one I used to stab
Frodo at Weathertop
His hobbit buddies couldn't stop
Me -- I stabbed him with my knife.

Here's another classic:

On the hilltop we can stab a hobbit
Because that hobbit has the master Ring.
We'll have lots of fun stabbing the hobbit,
Knife knife knife knife knife knife.

Or perhaps you prefer the classics!

The Witch-King looked down and stabbed
That hobbit in the shoulder
In the knife went, knife knife knife,
Into his hobbit shoulder,
Knife knife knife knife Morgul knife
Morgul knife knife knife knife knife --
Stab him, stab him, stab him good,
Up on Weathertop, stab, knife.

Or maybe this thing!

I'll be stabbing Frodo.
You can count on me
To stab him in the shoulder,
All pinned against a boulder,
Knife knife knife
Give me the God-damned Ring.

Or!

Up on Weathertop, in the night,
Nazgul come to give a fright
And stab a hobbit in the arm
With their knives they'll do some harm.
O, Elbereth! Gilthoniel!
We hate those names -- we know them well.
Up on Weathertop, guard your life,
Here come the Nazgul, knife knife knife.

[devlin1]

Hey celebrants! How are your Weathertop Stabbing Day revels going? We've already fried the tomatoes and lit the torches. Next up, of course: the traditional Shrieking in the Night! Followed by stabbing.

[devlin1]

"What's today?" cried Saruman, calling downward to a young Rohirrim in Sunday clothes, who perhaps had loitered in to look about him.

"EH?" returned the boy, with all his might of wonder.

"What's today, my fine fellow?" said Saruman.

"Today!" replied the boy. "Why, it's WEATHERTOP STABBING DAY."

"It's Weathertop Stabbing Day!" said Saruman to himself. "I haven't missed it. The Nazgul have done it all in one night. They can do anything they like. Of course they can. Hallo, my fine fellow!"

"Hallo!" returned the Rohirrim boy.

"Do you know the Necromancer's lair, in Dol Guldur?" Saruman inquired.

"I should hope I did," replied the lad.

"An intelligent Rohirrim!" said Saruman. "A remarkable Rohirrim! Do you know whether anyone has pludered the Morgul Knife that was hanging up there? Not the blades of Westernesse -- the big one?"

"What, the one as big as me?" returned the boy.

Etc.

[SpaceMonkey]

I liked the version of The Night Before Weathertop Stabbing Day where Bill Murray played an 80's-tastic Saruman.

[devlin1]

Oh, the Nazgul outside are stabful,
So you're sure to get a jabful,
And it's looking like they won't stop
On Weathertop, Weathertop, Weathertop.

Well we've got this knife for stabbin',
And a Ring we'll soon be grabbin'.
These hobbits are basically fops
on Weathertop, Weathertop, Weathertop.

When we finally stab that knife
Into that little hobbit's left arm
For the rest of his whole damn life
That arm'll be feelin' that harm!

Oh, the Nazgul outside are stabful,
So you're sure to get a jabful,
And it's looking like they won't stop
On Weathertop, Weathertop, Weathertop.

[devlin1]

So what's everyone doing for Halloween? I'm dressing up as Frodo with a knife sticking out of him.

HAPPY WEATHERTOP STABBING DAY

[devlin1]

Hey, that's that time of God-damned year again -- Weathertop Stabbing Day! I hope you're all celebrating indoors in a manner that complies with federal knife-safety standards.