Stupid people need their own Target

Completely off-topic.
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Cthulhu
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Post by Cthulhu »

2 hours to get some small items to put in stockings. 15 minutes of shopping. The rest of the time I'm dodging hordes of untended children, some of which are climbing shelves, others are crushing the hollow chocolate Santas. Some jackass has more than one cart, and is clogging the aisles while he decides if he wants red or green candy canes. Old ladies on on their cell phones with other old ladies in the same store, staring around, waving and shouting "can you see me?" at each other. In a sane, logical world, I would have flamethrowers for hands and this wouldn't be a problem. Instead I have to get in line behind a lady who doesn't speak english, and has found every unscannable item in the store.

Anyways, Merry Christmas, or whatever holiday you sinners celebrate.
:D
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Foxbat
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Post by Foxbat »

The reason why I avoid such places. But like you said, if one only had flamethrowers for hands...:naughty:

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Post by Gotetsu »


[quote="Cthulhu"]Instead I have to get in line behind a lady who doesn't speak english, and has found every unscannable item in the store. [/quote]

I thought for sure that lady followed me around exclusively. :shock:

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smartmonkey
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Post by smartmonkey »

Dude. Welcome to the world of retail hell. At least you don't work here.
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Post by Skyman »

This is the time of the season to go to places away from malls
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Post by jimmy corrigan »


[quote="Cthulhu"]2 hours to get some small items to put in stockings. 15 minutes of shopping. The rest of the time I'm dodging hordes of untended children, some of which are climbing shelves, others are crushing the hollow chocolate Santas. Some jackass has more than one cart, and is clogging the aisles while he decides if he wants red or green candy canes. Old ladies on on their cell phones with other old ladies in the same store, staring around, waving and shouting "can you see me?" at each other. In a sane, logical world, I would have flamethrowers for hands and this wouldn't be a problem. Instead I have to get in line behind a lady who doesn't speak english, and has found every unscannable item in the store.



Anyways, Merry Christmas, or whatever holiday you sinners celebrate.

:D[/quote]

that was a larf. thanks.

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plaidrhino
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Post by plaidrhino »

if you had flamethrowers for hands, how would you pick things up?
Some people are like Slinkies ... Not really good for anything...... But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
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Post by Gotetsu »

I'm picturing hands like the ones on the ends of Doc Ock's tentacles.
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Post by Cthulhu »


[quote="plaidrhino"]if you had flamethrowers for hands, how would you pick things up?[/quote]

That's what minions are for. If I had the flamethrowers, I bet I could get me some minions.

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Post by BlanchPrez »


[quote="Cthulhu"][quote:cded348c66="plaidrhino"]if you had flamethrowers for hands, how would you pick things up?[/quote]

That's what minions are for. If I had the flamethrowers, I bet I could get me some minions.[/quote:cded348c66]



I bet Smartmonkey would be the first on your list.



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Post by smartmonkey »

Dude, I'd totally work for a guy with flamethrowers for hands. That job would be totally kickback.
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Post by plaidrhino »


[quote="smartmonkey"]Dude, I'd totally work for a guy with flamethrowers for hands. That job would be totally kickback.[/quote]

Awwww man...I thought you were gonna be my evil minion. I already have a 6 year old to find plot holes in my plans and everything. :x

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Post by Neuro »


[quote="plaidrhino"][quote:f259a9339a="smartmonkey"]Dude, I'd totally work for a guy with flamethrowers for hands. That job would be totally kickback.[/quote]

Awwww man...I thought you were gonna be my evil minion. I already have a 6 year old to find plot holes in my plans and everything. :x[/quote:f259a9339a]



It's okay, I'm going to be a pirate and pirates kidnap people and sell them. He can be yours for the low, low price of... um, hell, just get him off my ship.

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plaidrhino
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Post by plaidrhino »


[quote="Neuro"][quote:cd847337c2="plaidrhino"][quote:cd847337c2="smartmonkey"]Dude, I'd totally work for a guy with flamethrowers for hands. That job would be totally kickback.[/quote]

Awwww man...I thought you were gonna be my evil minion. I already have a 6 year old to find plot holes in my plans and everything. :x[/quote:cd847337c2]



It's okay, I'm going to be a pirate and pirates kidnap people and sell them. He can be yours for the low, low price of... um, hell, just get him off my ship.[/quote:cd847337c2]



Does that mean you will be hiring a new quartermaster?

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Post by Neuro »

Of course. J could be my quartermaster. We've already got it all figured out.
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plaidrhino
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Post by plaidrhino »

Tight. Let the piracy commence.
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Post by Wintermute »

So, who wants a DVD rip of Sky Captain?
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Post by Neuro »

Besides, all that's nothing...

I've always wanted someone else to see the people I talk to and the strange experiences I have when I'm out on my own in the world.

Enter J. J is a long time friend of mine. She went to high school with Winter. J has been working at the front desk of a hotel for a while now. Ever since she started, she's been bringing home stories that rival and surpass mine. I think something must've snapped because sure enough, while the two of us are on our errands Saturday morning, it starts. We are treated to an explanation of all the crafts in one lady's booth at the farmer's market, so that we know all there is to know about it all, and the lady who knits the things. We had a fine discussion about Roswell with the man who sold us almonds for table snacks and pluots for fried pies. Then there was the lady in the grocery store who clung to the end of my cart, hell bent on extolling the virtues of Pilsbury ready-made pie crusts, lest we get away before she could tell us about her bathroom habits. That's right, her bathroom habits. We'll leave that one there. You get the point.

Well, maybe it's contagious. Maybe J's turned into one of me. Maybe it's just her job. Whatever it was, here was the story of the day, yesterday:

The hotel front desk serves as the business center for the HOA on the property. Guy comes in to get his ID card photo done. He's about 5'4", wearing a jean jacket, cowboy hat, and glasses. Long dark ponytail, starting to gray, and deep tan skin, in other words, obviously native american. I ask if anyone else in the household has gotten their ID card done, so I can pull the paperwork. He says yes, Helen & Kevin Sobieski have been in. Pull the papers, the only other name listed is "Injun Joe". Contemplate how to ask if this his him, finally ask, "Is your last name Sobieski as well?" He says "No, I'm the infamous Indian Joe. Helen doesn't know my last name, but I'll give it to you. Well, she knows it but doesn't like to use it because she prefers to think of me as her spiritual advisor."

For the record, his last name was Stewart.
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Post by smartmonkey »


[quote]So, who wants a DVD rip of Sky Captain?[/quote]

That movie makes me want to play Adventure! really, really bad.



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Post by Wintermute »


[quote="smartmonkey"]That movie makes me want to play Adventure! really, really bad.
[/quote]


That movie made me want to turn off the TV. So I did.

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Post by devlin1 »


[quote="Wintermute"]So, who wants a DVD rip of Sky Captain?[/quote]
No, but I would like to rip a DVD of Sky Captain. In half. Looked beautiful, sounded terrible.

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